“Reason and emotion counsel and supplement each other. Whoever heeds only the one, and puts aside the other, recklessly deprives himself of a portion of the aid granted us for the regulation of our conduct.”
Luc de Clapiers
Do you think of yourself as rational… or emotional?
Most of us tend to pick one. I know I once did.
Some pride themselves on being “logical,” clear-headed, and analytical. Others describe themselves as “heart-over-head types,” guided by instinct, passion, and feeling. It sounds like a choice we have to make, as if our identity leans one way or the other.
We’ve all been told at some point, “Don’t think from your heart,” as if emotion is the enemy of reason. But are reason and emotion really at odds? Or could they be telling us the same story in different voices?
The cultural myth of Head vs. Heart
From the time we’re children, we absorb a story: that reason belongs to the head, and emotions to the heart. That to be successful, wise, or “mature,” we should prioritise the head and silence the heart.
“Don’t cry, be strong.”
“Be practical.”
“Don’t be so sensitive.”
All of these are subtle ways of reinforcing the idea that emotion is unreliable, while logic is the only safe guide.
But think about it: when we dismiss emotion, does reason really flourish? Or do we simply cut ourselves off from a powerful source of knowing? When we lean too far into logic, life feels dry, disconnected. When we lean too far into emotion, life can feel chaotic, overwhelming. The trouble isn’t with either one, it’s with believing we must choose.
What Emotions really do
Emotions aren’t random disturbances. They are signals, guiding us toward what matters most.
- 😨 Fear isn’t just fear. It points us to what we deeply care about. If I fear losing something, it’s because it matters. Fear shows me where my values live.
- 😠 Anger isn’t chaos. It reveals when boundaries are being crossed. Anger is not the opposite of reason, it is the body’s way of saying, “This is not okay.”
- 😞 Sadness isn’t weakness. It reminds us of what holds meaning. We grieve not because we’re fragile, but because something valuable has been lost.
- 🙂 Joy isn’t trivial. It shows us what nourishes and sustains us. Joy tells us where life feels aligned, where energy flows easily.
If we can learn to listen, emotions carry wisdom. They aren’t interruptions to rational thinking; they’re part of the larger picture.
The dialogue between Head and Heart
Here’s where it gets interesting: reason and emotion aren’t adversaries. They’re more like two languages telling the same story.
Fear tells me I care about my safety or my loved ones. Reason helps me plan, prepare, and protect. Anger tells me a line has been crossed. Reason helps me express that constructively rather than destructively. Sadness tells me something meaningful is gone. Reason helps me honour it and rebuild. Without emotion, reason has nothing meaningful to work on. Without reason, emotion has no structure to move through.
It’s a dialogue. A partnership. A balancing act between the intuitive and the analytical, the felt and the thought. I’ve often caught myself in that familiar tug-of-war: “Should I follow my head, or my heart?” For a long time, I assumed they were pulling in different directions. Now I realise, more often than not, they’re pointing toward the same truth, just in different voices.
Why avoiding Emotion backfires
Still, many of us have learned to suppress or avoid our emotions. We think if we ignore fear, it won’t control us. If we silence sadness, it will fade. If we bottle up anger, it will vanish.
But avoided emotions don’t disappear, they only go underground. They shape our decisions unconsciously. They slip out sideways as stress, anxiety, or numbness. When we silence the heart, the head loses depth. When we silence reason, the heart loses clarity.
The irony is that the emotions we resist most often carry the most reasonable messages. Fear tells me what’s precious. Anger tells me what’s unacceptable. Sadness tells me what’s worth holding on to. Avoiding them doesn’t make us more rational, it makes us less whole.
Final Thoughts
So let’s return to the question: Are you rational, or emotional?
The truth is, you are both. And you need to be both.
Reason and emotion aren’t enemies to be reconciled, but partners to be integrated. Together, they create a fuller way of knowing, one that is both grounded and alive, practical and meaningful.
So next time you feel that tug, “Should I listen to my head, or my heart?”, pause. Don’t treat it like a choice. Instead, ask: What are they both trying to tell me?
Because more often than not, they’re not in conflict. They’re telling the same story, just in different voices.
