Love Thyself: The Ethics of Self-Care

Valentine’s Day is here, and love is everywhere! Celebrated, sought after, and sometimes, longed for, but what is love, really? And must it always be directed outward?

We are often told, “𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘺 𝘤𝘶𝘱,” yet many of us spend our lives seeking love externally, through validation, achievements or relationships, without first turning inward. But 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻? In a world that glorifies self-sacrifice, self-care is often mistaken for selfishness. But 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳–𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲? 𝗖𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗴𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀?

We often think of love as something we give, but love is also something we are. If we don’t practice self-love, our relationships may become driven by need rather than generosity. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀? The call to “Love Thyself” is not about vanity; it’s about 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝘂𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹–𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴. Only when we cultivate love within can we extend it freely, without expectation or dependence. This phrase echoes classical moral wisdom, similar to “𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘛𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧” from ancient Greek philosophy. It suggests that loving oneself is not just an emotional act but a fundamental principle of living well.

The Bhagavad Gita offers a powerful take on self-love, one that isn’t about indulgence or fleeting affirmations but about recognizing the divine within. When we understand ourselves as more than our successes, failures, or societal roles, we develop a deep sense of inner peace and confidence. It teaches that true self-love begins with understanding yourself as the 𝘈𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯, the eternal self, beyond the achievements and struggles of the material world. Kṛṣṇa reminds us that self-love isn’t about feeding the ego but about transcending it! 𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗵 ourselves 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗿𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲. It’s about living with self-discipline, honoring your 𝘥𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘢 (duty), and cultivating inner balance. When we see ourselves with clarity and compassion, our love for others flows effortlessly. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝘂𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘆, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝘂𝗹𝗹𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀. Maybe self-love isn’t something to chase but something to uncover.

So, what does ethical self-care look like? it’s about:

🧘 𝗡𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘄𝘁𝗵 

❤️ 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳–𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁

🚧 𝗛𝗼𝗻𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲

🕊️ 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀, 𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗰 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗲

In essence, self-love is not indulgence, but an ethical imperative, a practice of honouring oneself in order to live a meaningful, flourishing life and to be of true value to others. So, instead of searching for love outside, what if we started by living it from within? Perhaps love isn’t just a feeling, but a practice, a way of being, and living, not just in grand gestures, but in everyday acts of care, for ourselves and others. 

So, I ask: 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂? 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘁, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝘀, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂?