At first glance, the title might seem abstract, I am neither this, nor that. But at its heart lies a quiet, powerful invitation: to question what we’ve long assumed ourselves to be. Are you your work? Your thoughts? Your emotions? The answer, as we’ll explore here, is far more spacious.

This idea draws from the profound Vedantic teaching of Neti Neti, a Sanskrit phrase that translates to “Not this, not that” or, “Neither this, nor that.” In this tradition, seekers are guided toward the true self, not by clinging to new identities, but by letting go of false ones. It’s a process of peeling back the layers: I am not the body. I am not the mind. I am not the fleeting emotions. So what remains?

This blog is not meant to hand you final answers, but to gently nudge you into that same inquiry. Because if we are not what we do, not what we think, not what we feel, then what are we?

You Are More Than What You Do

In a world that constantly equates worth with productivity, it’s easy to mistake what we do for who we are. Our roles, responsibilities, achievements, they can become all-consuming. We say things like, “I’m a teacher,” “I’m a therapist,” “I’m a parent,” as if the entire self can be collapsed into a title. But doing is not being.

There’s something deeper beneath the role you play at work, the to-do list you complete, the identity you present to others. That deeper self doesn’t vanish when the work is done or when the roles shift, it’s quietly present in the pauses, the transitions, the moments in between. You are not here to prove your worth through endless action. You already are.

Why Your Thoughts Are Not the Same as Your Self

If actions don’t define us, perhaps our thoughts do? After all, they’re constant, narrating, commenting, interpreting. But pause for a moment and notice: thoughts are always moving. One moment you believe you’re capable, the next you’re full of doubt. Sometimes your mind contradicts itself within minutes. Can something so changeable be the core of who you are?

The very fact that you can observe your thoughts, pause, reflect on them, even disagree with them, suggests something profound: there’s a part of you that is not the thought itself. You are the awareness that sees the thought arise and fade. You are not the commentary, you are the listener.

Are You What You Feel Then?

If we’re not our thoughts, maybe we are our feelings? Emotions are undeniably powerful, they colour our entire experience. Joy, sorrow, rage, longing, they feel personal, consuming, real. But just like thoughts, emotions shift. What feels overwhelming today may be barely present tomorrow.

It helps to remember: feelings are messengers, not definitions. They tell us something about our inner or outer world, but they don’t define who we are. Instead of saying “I am anxious,” try saying “Anxiety is here” or, “I feel anxious.” Notice the space that creates, a subtle but profound shift from identity to observation. You are the one who feels, not the feeling itself.

The Awareness Beneath It All

So if you are not what you do, not what you think, not what you feel, then who are you?

You are the one who sees. The one who notices the thoughts come and go. The one who feels emotion but is not consumed by it. The one who moves through roles but is not reduced by them. This quiet observer within, call it awareness, presence, consciousness, is not some mystical concept. It’s something you can access right now, in this very moment.

Close your eyes. Notice your breath. Listen to the thoughts passing through. Feel whatever emotion is present. And then, notice that you are the one noticing. That unchanging awareness, that is closer to your essence than any label or passing state.

Final Thoughts

The journey of self-inquiry is not about rejecting your thoughts, feelings, or actions. It’s about remembering that you are more than any of them. Neti Neti isn’t an intellectual exercise, it’s an invitation into a more spacious relationship with yourself. A reminder that your worth doesn’t lie in performance. That your truth isn’t defined by a passing emotion. That your identity doesn’t end at the edges of your thoughts.

So the next time you find yourself overwhelmed by your roles, caught in a thought loop, or swept up in feeling, pause. Gently ask, Who is noticing this?
In that pause, in that question, there’s a glimpse of who you truly are.

Not this. Not that.
And yet, here.